The Culinary Battle of Thermopylae

 When I woke up early this morning and headed to the kitchen, I expected peace and quiet, and maybe a cup of tea. Instead, I found that my kitchen table had been transformed into a historical debating club.

"You just don't get it," the tomato said indignantly, rocking back and forth. "It's not just a question of culinary preferences, it's also a question of philosophy!"

"Oh, yes, of course," the coffee beans responded with a grin. "We know you're a philosopher. Especially when it comes to whether it's better to boil or bake."

"Don't get off topic!" the tomato jumped indignantly, but realizing that it was about to roll off the table, froze in place. "The Battle of Thermopylae wasn't just about geopolitics. It was a clash of two culinary cultures!" I sat down, poured myself some tea, and decided to listen to where this argument would lead.

— The Spartans defended their simple but nutritious cuisine, — the tomato continued. — Their black broth was a source of strength and spirit!

— And disgusting taste, — the coffee beans put in.

— It doesn’t matter! The main thing is that it symbolized fortitude! And the Persians... The Persians with their dates, saffron and honey! They wanted to conquer not only the land, but also the taste buds!

— Ah, the magnificent dishes of the Persian court... — the coffee beans sighed dreamily. — A real symphony of taste!

I looked at the frying pan, which had been silently observing the argument.

— So, — I said, — tell us what Leonidas and Xerxes ate?

The frying pan happily got to work:

— Xerxes, for example, could start the day with flatbread soaked in honey and sprinkled with pistachios. They were served with lamb with saffron, stewed in wine and herbs. The Persians liked to use cinnamon, cumin, cardamom...

"And the Spartans?" I asked.

"They made their famous black broth from pig's blood, vinegar and salt," the frying pan replied.

I winced.

"They say that Xerxes once tried black broth," the tomato chimed in. "He took a sip, widened his eyes and declared that he now understood why the Spartans went into battle so fearlessly: they just wanted to die quickly and not eat this crap!" The coffee beans giggled.

"And here's the opposite story," they said. "One Spartan, having come to the court of Xerxes, tried Persian dishes and sarcastically remarked: "Now I understand why the Persians need so much gold - to buy such exquisite dishes. Without it, they would not have gone to war." I laughed.

- So the Battle of Thermopylae wasn't just a battle, but also a gastronomic protest?

- Exactly! - the tomato declared triumphantly.

- Now write down the recipe for Persian lamb with saffron, - the frying pan suggested. - I think Xerxes would approve.

I took out my notebook. The day promised to be interesting.